


I'll Never Tell

by angelus2hot



Category: Andromeda (TV)
Genre: Community: smallfandomfest, Gen, Gen Fic, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-29
Updated: 2011-07-29
Packaged: 2017-10-21 22:48:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/230712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelus2hot/pseuds/angelus2hot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dylan gets poisoned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Never Tell

**Author's Note:**

> **Title:** I'll Never Tell  
>  **Rating:** PG  
>  **Word Count:** 1,721  
>  **Prompt:** Andromeda, Dylan  & or/Tyr, I'll never tell  
>  **Characters/Pairing:** Dylan, Tyr, Trance, Andromeda, Harper, Beka  
>  **A/N:** Written for smallfandomfest's [Fest 09](http://smallfandomfest.livejournal.com/360931.html)

"As you can see The Andromeda Ascendant is a fully functional warship. She's also quite capable of...." Dylan let his sentence trail off as he turned towards the ship's engineer. "Mr. Harper, can you tell me..." Dylan looked around wildly as he tried to focus his eyes on one spot but his head was swimming too badly. "Why are there talking monkeys on my ship?" Those were the last words he said as his body crumpled to the floor.

"Dylan!" Beka was the first one to reach Dylan's side followed closely by Harper and Tyr.

"Trance, The Captain has collapsed. You're needed on the bridge." Andromeda's voice was full of concern as she monitored Dylan's vital signs. He had to be okay. He was her captain what would she be without him?

"What are you doing, Tyr?" Harper eyes widened as Tyr bent over and lifted Dylan up in his arms.

"Trance is taking too long. I can get him to the medical bay faster." Without saying another word, Tyr strode towards the doors.

"Trance, cancel that. Tyr is bringing Dylan to you."

 

By the time Tyr arrived with Dylan, Trance had already set up everything she would need. Or at least she hoped she had.

Within moments after Tyr had undressed him and covered him with a blanket, she had an IV stuck in Dylan's arm to help keep him hydrated while she tried to figure out what had happened. As she worked she kept asking Tyr questions.

"What happened?

"I don't know. One minute he was talking to the Ruler and his delegation from Primesius. The next moment he asked why were there talking monkeys on his ship and then collapsed." Tyr tried to keep a straight face but it wasn't easy. The inhabitants of that planet did indeed look like talking monkeys...sort of.

Trance's mouth fell open in shock. "He didn't!"

Tyr bit the inside of his lip to keep from smiling. "He most certainly did."

"Oh my." All traces of amusement left as Trance paused to get another reading. "I don't like this. His temperature is running a lot higher then it should be even for him." She glanced back at Tyr. "And you don't have any idea what could have caused this?"

Tyr shook his head. "No. I don't."

"Andromeda, where was Dylan before he collapsed?"

"The Captain spent the evening on Primesius. He was trying to convince their committee to join his charter."

"That doesn't sound......are there any known diseases that could effect Dylan this way?"

There was a brief pause before Andromeda began to speak, "I'm listing over ninety-nine known diseases on the planet. None of which are contagious to other life forms."

The monitor started to beep loudly as Dylan began to thrash around on the bed, muttering incoherently. "Tyr, help hold him down." Trance worked quickly, as she tried to stabilize his vitals. It would help if she knew what she was up against.

"Do something!" Tyr snarled as he fought to keep Dylan on the medical bed.

Trance shot Tyr a quizzical look at the tone of his voice. "Andromeda, I need to know what this is. He's not responding to any treatment. And I think his hallucinations are getting worse."

"I'm trying, Trance." Andromeda's tone was clipped. She didn't mean to be rude. But she had never been put into the position where she didn't know something. She was a warship. A being of extreme intelligence and it accounted for nothing. Dylan needed her help and she was useless.

"What about foods?"

Trance quickly turned to face Tyr. "What?"

"There are some foods that act as.."

"Poisons." Trance finished the sentence for him. _Why hadn't she thought of that sooner?_ "Andromeda, did Dylan eat anything while on the planet?"

"No."

"If that's not..." Before she could finish her sentence Andromeda interrupted.

"Harper said that Dylan did have some Coconut milk while he was on the planet."

"Coconut milk doesn't sound all that....." Once again Trance was interrupted before she could finish speaking.

"Coconut milk by itself isn't bad at all. In fact anyone can drink it if they can stomach the taste." Tyr wrinkled up his nose. He however, being a far superior being, had better taste in drinks then that. "They put an alcohol, plant based concoction in it. Which is fine for the inhabitants of the planet but of course it's almost always deadly to anyone else. What I don't understand is why it was given to Dylan. It's usually only reserved for their worst enemies."

Trance raised her eyebrows at Tyr. _How did he know something like that?_

Tyr shrugged his shoulders and shot her a rueful smile before he mouthed, "Mercenary remember?"

"I can tell you why." Andromeda quickly jumped into the conversation. She was positively thrilled to have the information they needed. "The captain asked for it."

"Why would he do that?" Trance and Tyr asked the question in unison.

"Knowing the captain, he didn't want to be rude and refuse all their hospitality. He probably thought, like the rest of us, that coconut milk couldn't be harmful."

"That still doesn't tell us why they would serve it to him." Once again Trance and Tyr spoke at the same time.

"On Primesius, they are taught at a very young age not to argue with guests. If a guest wants something and it doesn't matter what, it's actually against their laws to refuse. The penalty is death if anyone dares to refuse a guest's request."

"So, how do we cure him?" Trance wiped Dylan's feverish brow with a wet cloth as she spoke.

"I have already been in touch with Priemier Angaus, the Ruler of Primesius. He's sent the cure. Harper should be there any moment with it. He's also sent his heartfelt apologies."

"Would it have killed them to mention any of this earlier before Dylan collapsed." Harper sounded downright pissy as he walked into the room carrying the cure.

"When it took so long for Dylan to react to the drink, they probably thought he was immune." Trance started pouring small sips of the vile smelling cure into Dylan's mouth. As the liquid flowed passed his lips, Dylan tried to turn his head away. Not that she blamed him if it tasted half as bad as it smelled.

"Did he happen to mention how long it would take for the cure to work?" Tyr quickly held Dylan's head still as he tried to resist.

"It could be anywhere from a couple of hours to a day or two. It all depends on the size, weight and attitude of the patient. He'll also be very weak as the cure pushes the poison from his body."

 _Oh crap!_ She would be willing to bet based on how he was when he was hurt, that Dylan was going to make a horrible patient.

"Trance?" For a minute Dylan didn't even recognize his own voice. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Trance?" Nope, that hadn't helped. He still sounded like a dying cat. He tried to raise his head off the pillow but barely managed it. "What the hell's wrong with me?"

Gently, she pushed him back onto his pillow. "You've been poisoned." Trance spoke softly as she wiped his brow once more. "But it's okay, I've given you the cure and you should be all better in no time." She thought it best not to mention the length of time it could take.

"How long?" He didn't want to sound like he was whining but he hated feeling weak and helpless.

Trance leaned over Dylan, tucked the blanket more securely around his body; before she straightened up. "Well, that all depends on you." She glanced at the monitor and was surprised to see Dylan's temperature was already beginning to go down.

Dylan glanced down at his body. He lay weak as a kitten unable to do the most basic of functions. Only one question was on his mind. "How did it happen?"

"Apparently, you asked for and where given their version of coconut milk. It's deadly to non-inhabitants of the planet."

"Then why the hell did they give it to me?"

Tyr quickly jumped in. "You asked for it. They can't refuse anything a guest requests."

"Ah." Dylan didn't know what else to say. Maybe this would teach him to start doing more research on a planet before he decided to step foot on it. He glanced around the room, he knew his memory was fuzzy but he didn't remember anything that happened after being on the planet. "How did I get here?"

"Tyr carried you?"

Tyr had waited long enough to tell Dylan of the faux pas he had made, he quickly began to speak before Dylan could say anything. "But not before you asked why were there talking monkeys on your ship." As soon as he finished speaking Tyr put his hand over his mouth to hide the smile.

A groan escaped Dylan at the thought. "Tell me I didn't."

A nod was Tyr's only confirmation.

"Oh, Damn!"

At this point, Andromeda jumped into the conversation. "Everything's fine now. At first the Ruler was highly insulted but after hearing of your unfortunate accident, he has decided you weren't in full control of your faculties and weren't responsible for your actions."

Dylan's body trembled as he raised up. "Just out of curiosity..."

"The penalty would have been death."

Dylan was glad he had being poisoned as an excuse. Suddenly, he remembered what Trance had said. "Did you say Tyr carried me?"

She nodded her head. "Yes." A huge smile lit her face at the memory of Tyr carrying Dylan in his arms. The look of concern on his face had been telling. Despite his best efforts to the contrary, Tyr Anasazi cared about someone other than himself.

Tyr folded his arms over his chest, a disgruntled look on his face. He had hoped he'd managed to steer the conversation away from that piece of information. But apparently not. "It was an emergency. Believe me I have no intention of repeating the gesture." Tyr gently pushed against Dylan's chest until he laid back down.

"Why, Tyr, I didn't know you cared." At the look on Tyr's face, Dylan quickly added. "But don't worry, I'll never tell."


End file.
